I cried today
not emotional sobbing
nor tormented wails
but soft and gray
like a February drizzle
I shed no tears
for lost lovers or slain dreams
as I walked brown fields
and gazed on barren trees
but for the lone hawk
driven to the ground
by a flock of crows,
who could not fly
as high as she.
Nochipa,
I shed no tears
for lost lovers or slain dreams
as I walked brown fields
and gazed on barren trees
but for the lone hawk
driven to the ground
This is good , but why did you use the word “slain”? Was it to go with the hawk? I just never thought of dreams as slain? But I guess they are killed at times…
I could see this one being longer! The close was great.
Scot,
Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I guess it’s funny about slain. That word just came from somewhere in my mind as if I was subconsciously thinking that dreams only die if we kill them or allow someone else to do so, otherwise they are always there just waiting for a chance to pop out and come true. Thank you for taking note of that word and causing me to really think about why that particular word showed up in this piece.
Nochipa
what interesting and beautiful poetry you write. i love that I have discovered you. it has been a good day thus far for discovery.
one note here, and believe you me I do not do this often, a bunch of crows are not a “flock” but a “murder”. that may in fact be more a propos in the context of this beautiful writing.
forgive me my indiscretion
ozymandiaz,
Thank you for coming by and reading my thoughts and for you kind comments about my poetry! I do so very much appreciate it.
“a bunch of crows are not a “flock” but a “murder,” I think I should have called it that! They really are both methaphorically and literally.
Thanks again ever so much.
Nochipa