Meet Allie, an ESFJ

woman holding pink tulips
Photo by Tuấn Kiệt Jr. on Pexels.com

Allie attends church nearly every Sunday.

She holds a Master’s Degree in Human Services and prides herself in caring for others. She likes to keep things moving forward and she never wants for friends. In fact, she has a whole posse that she takes shopping with her because she is afraid that she will buy something ugly and look stupid in front of her friends at work.

She hosts Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for her family every year and her home looks like it should be featured on the front of a Southern Living magazine. She goes all out and keeps her Christmas decorations up to date and in vogue.

At work she is often the spokeswoman in meetings and is critical of anyone who is socially awkward, has bad hair, is too fat, or wears out-of-style clothing. She sometimes spends more than she intended to on clothing and often buys things only to later discover that she doesn’t even like them. In fact, she has closets filled with things with tags still on them. She doesn’t always know what she wants and so she buys things that are popular among people she respects and likes.

Allie puts in long hours and works as a volunteer for Relay for Life because she is a cancer survivor and she wants to help others survive, too. She cries during sad movies and is better at knowing what other people want than what she wants for herself. In fact, she feels happiest when she is making the people she loves happy. Her first marriage was bad as her husband was verbally and emotionally abusive toward her. Now, in her second marriage, she is extremely happy because her husband, an easy-going woodworker, is completely opposite of her previous partner. He is funny, quirky and kind to her, plus she always knows what he wants, he listens to her, doesn’t criticize her for having too much stuff and values her ideas and input and this makes her happy.

There is a woman at work who once devalued Allie and made her feel stupid. Allie wanted the woman gone, so she began highlighting the woman’s short-comings in front of others. Eventually, the woman was deemed lazy and incompetent by the administers at the center and she was fired. Allie received her job, which was a promotion for her. Allie rarely goes into her dark side but dismissing her idea as stupid made this woman Allie’s mortal enemy. Allie must be praised for her hard work. If she receives praise and recognition, she will sacrifice to the ends of the earth to make others feel happy.

Allie’s cognitive preferences are those of an ESFJ.

All ESFJs have these things in common:

  1. They honor tradition and the values of their circle.
  2. They want to do the “right thing.”
  3. They are past focused and compare the present to past experiences.
  4. They care about what you want.
  5. They must have someone listen to them.
  6. They like familiarity and comfort.
  7. They are thoughtful, generous and usually altruistic.

Author: Darlene Franklin-Campbell

Poet, novelist, artist

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