Meet Janet, an ENFP

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Ne–scans the horizon, looking for possible pathways. It toys with ideas, with relationships and every piece of data, experience or external stimuli leads to making inferences, drawing analogies, coming up with metaphors, motives and meanings. Ne is adept at what if scenarios and mirrors others. It tends entertain multiple meanings and ideas at once. 
Fi–introverted feeling in the parent position means that the ENFP will be responsible for his/her own values and will have the ability to place themselves in the shoes of another person and see from another person’s viewpoint. It may also cause the ENFP to behave selfishly if in a foul mood.
Te–extraverted thinking in the child position means that the ENFP has a pure ability to be organized when they need to be and will give them a childlike love for gadgets, technology, data, etc. Make no mistake, ENFPs and ESFPs definitely have the ability to get organized, even if it doesn’t look like traditional organization to Is-Te types such as ESTJs or ISTJs. 
Si–introverted sensing in the aspirational position means that ENFPs may tend toward moments of nostalgia or when stressed find relief in something familiar. Even though they love change and they love the new, they do take solace in the familiar on occasion. Si acts as a release valve or a balancing act for Ne. 

Janet is a perky, bouncy and seemingly carefree person, but she is also responsible and proves it everyday. She runs her own company.

When Janet walks into a room, her employees can immediately tell what mood she is in. They can tell by the way she carries herself. When she has a new piece of technology, she walks with a pep in her step that makes her appear to walk on air. When she has an unsatisfied customer or trouble at home, she walks with anger in her steps. Workers know when they can and can’t approach her with requests, all by the way she walks. Though they would never say it to her face, they all describe Janet as “moody” and say that she can both be kind and sympathetic and yet, at times, childishly stubborn and selfish. Some workers have quit because they say that Janet is insincere and acts like she is on “their side” then turns around and does something that they feel stabs them in the back.

For example, three years ago, there was an opening in the company and Janet called a board meeting. The board held interviews and voted to hire a girl name Stacey, who was highly qualified but had been struggling through financial difficulties due to the recent death of her husband and the closing of the factory where she had worked.

Janet called Stacey and cheefully told her that she had the job.  Stacey and her two kids had a party to celebrate her getting a good job and their being able to get off food stamps. She then preceded to move her belongings into her office and was all set for her first day of work.

Meanwhile, Janet was approached by a representative from a clique of workers. The representative told Janet that the other workers (meaning her little group) didn’t like Stacey and didn’t think she was a “company kind of woman.” So, Janet, in an attempt to keep her company looking top notch, decided to hire another person, less qualified but infinitely more popular with her employees. When Stacey showed up to work, Janet asked her to leave, explaining that they really didn’t have the money to hire her.

Later, Stacey learned that the other woman had received the job and that Janet had lied to her. Stacey was devastated and had to take a part time job as a waitress to feed her children.

Janet is innovative and always has new ideas. She is funny and loves to have fun. She can make people laugh and is constantly open to possibilities. Janet has worked her way to the top of every company she’s ever been a part of, and now, she has her own company. She’s also highly creative and enjoys art shows, theatrical performances and is a great performer herself, always participating in local theatrical productions, talent shows, etc.

Janet’s first marriage ended because she felt stifled and misunderstood. She left her husband after a couple of affairs that also ended with her feeling let down; when Janet finally left her husband, she did so without having anyone in the wing and truly did feel she could do better on her own, which she did. She realized that she had married wrong and had been mismatched for twenty-seven years. She never knew how happy she could be until she was living on her own. Five years after her divorce, she was perfectly happy. She spent her vacation time going places her husband was always too afraid to go and it was on one of her trips that she met her current husband, a quiet artist with a thirst for adventure. Together, they go off the beaten path and explore the novel, the quaint, the bizarre and the unusual and they both love doing it. Janet is happy in her current life.

Janet’s cognitive preferences are those of an ENFP and while she is not identical to every ENFP, she does share somethings in common with other ENFPs.

  1. ENFPs are energetic and have tremendous mental energy.
  2. ENFPs NEED change and without it, they become stagnant and unhappy.
  3. ENFPs love new, novel and exciting things, like new technology.
  4. ENFPs need to return to the familiar from time to time.
  5. ENFPs are aware of they value but may not be aware of the morals and values of others.
  6. ENFPs are experts at making connections, drawing analogies and coming up with or understanding metaphors.
  7. ENFPs can be dramatic and moody.

 

Train Us in the Ways We Should Go

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People are different.

We are born with different natures. Nature means the way we are naturally “bent” or inclined. We each have our own set of natural strengths and weaknesses. The book of Proverbs talks about training a child in the way he or she should go. The words “way he should go” there, literally translates into the direction in which a person is “bent” or “inclined.” King Solomon, all those years ago, understood that each of us has a natural, God-given, inclination and that we should train each child according to his or her own unique inclination, help him or her develop strengths and overcome weaknesses, each of which is different in every person. There is not a one size fits all mold for human beings.

So, we could say that the word “train” refers to nurture. Solomon tells us to nurture each child according to his or her own specific nature.

Nurture means our environments, our relationships, our belief systems and our experiences. Two people with the same nature may be very different because their nurture is so varied. So, teachings we receive, the environment, relationships, religious beliefs, cultural beliefs and life experiences will affect the person we become. We could say that our nature is influenced by our nurture.

Problems come when we expect everyone else to live by our own “natural” value systems. In other words, if I naturally value structure and another person values unhindered exploration, we may have issues, unless we come to understand that and approach each other with the other person’s values in mind.  This is where depth psychology comes into play. You may not EVER understand the letters Jung used and what they signified, but anyone who can think can, if they try, understand that other people see the world differently and value different aspects of human nature.

We each have one of 16 sets of cognitive “preferences” or ways of thinking. Preferences means that we subconsciously gravitate toward in much the same way that each of us gravitates toward left-handedness or right-handedness.

****IF WE UNDERSTAND THE NATURE OF A PERSON THEN THE TASK OF GETTING ALONG WITH THAT PERSON IS ALREADY 50% ACHIEVED. THEN ALL WE HAVE TO IS WORK ON THE NURTURE OF THAT PERSON.  When we understand the nature of a person, we are responsible to hold them to THEIR value system and not our own.

So having said that, here is a two word description of the basic nature of each of the sixteen types. (In depth psychology terms, it’s the dominant or hero function). This is what each of these types value and excel at.

ESTJ & ENTJ–thinking extraverted—ORDER & STRUCTURE

ISTJ & ISFJ–sensing introverted–SECURITY & STABILITY

ESFJ & ENFJ–extravert feeling–SOCIETY & MORALITY

ESTP & ESFP–sensing extraverted–EXPERIENCE & PIONEERING

ISTP & INTP–thinking introverted–LOGIC & PRECISION

INFP & ISFP–feeling introverted–INDIVIDUALITY & PERSONAL FREEDOM

ENTP & ENFP–iNtuition extraverted–EXPLORATION & TRANSFORMATION

INTJ & INFJ–iNtuition introverted–AUTONOMY & DISCOVERY

 

1 Person of each type who left a mark on this world:

  1. ESTJ–Billy Graham
  2. ENTJ–Carl Sagan
  3. ISTJ–Alexander Campbell (founder of Bethany College and the Church of Christ)
  4. ISFJ–Rosa Parks
  5. ESFJ–Harry Truman
  6. ENFJ–Martin Luther King Jr.
  7. ESTP–Winston Churchill
  8. ESFP–Hugh Hefner
  9. ISTP–Bruce Lee
  10. INTP–Einstein
  11. ENTP–Benjamin Franklin
  12. ENFP–Anne Frank
  13. INFP–Edgar Allen Poe
  14. ISFP–Jimmi Hendrix
  15. INTJ–C.S. Lewis
  16. INFJ–Thomas Jefferson

Meet Calvin, an INTP

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Ti=introverted thinking is the INTP’s superpower. This means that the INTP is gifted at logically dissecting and analyzing problems.
Ne=intuition extraverted is the parent function of the INTP and is where his/her responsibility lies. Ne in this position takes what Ti has perceived and analyzed and toys with possibilities of application.
Si=sensing introverted in the child position means that the INTP has a pure need for personal comfort. Unlike people who have Si in the hero position, in the child position, it means that the INTP needs to feel “safe” before they can be their true unguarded selves.
Fe=in the aspirational position means that INTPs often misinterpret what they others value or how they feel. It means that they aspire to make others happy and are let down when others are suddenly angry and lashing out at them. 

Calvin’s glasses are held together with electrical tape and he wears a hoodie and baggy jeans almost every day. He’s a quiet man most of the time except when he’s with his business partner, Eddie. The two of them constantly bounce ideas off each other. Calvin married right after college but the marriage fell through as Calvin did not do well with paying his bills, following a set schedule or showing up to work on time. When he did have money back then, he spent it on gaming equipment. His wife got tired of the bill collectors, food stamps and always being broke, so she left, thankful that they never had any children. So Calvin moved into the apartment above his parent’s garage and has been living there ever since.

Calvin started out as a clerk in a comic book store where he sold comics, figurines, gaming equipment and t-shirts to costumers, but when he met Eddie, the two of them discussed an idea for a particular kind of gaming software. Eddie had the money and the vision. Calvin had the ingenuity, so they partnered and eventually started their own company which is doing well, but Calvin has not bothered looking for a bigger or better house or more expensive clothing. He is content in his garage apartment so when he does spend money, it’s related to software development. Calvin doesn’t place a lot of value on the external world around him. His apartment is cluttered with wires, cables, computers, gaming paraphernalia and coffee cups.

Calvin seems to live and breathe to generate new ideas and improve upon the things he’s already developed. Existing rules or structures don’t mean much to Calvin when a new idea is born. He will by-pass the way things have always been done and pioneer a new, more innovative way. He approaches problems with skepticism, seeking patterns and logical explanations.

Calvin is a peaceful person and hates face-to-face conflict, although he is silently critical of others whom he deems as “unintelligent.” He often gets online at various forums, under different names, and “trolls” people. He says things to them just to get them going. In real life, he is conflict avoidant. He likes martial arts and can tell anyone all about the history of martial arts and all the best moves, but he would not engage in hand-to-hand combat because the one time that he did, a 100 pound Thai girl beat him up.

He doesn’t like to meet new people, usually, unless they are people who draw him in by discussing theories and ideas that appeal to him. Calvin doesn’t base his decisions on how he thinks others will feel about it or whether they will value it. His creativity tends to come in bursts of energy and he has to go with it when it hits. He may stay up until 3 a.m. or sleep until 3 p.m.

For Calvin it is important to express ideas and facts correctly. He expresses himself in what he considers truths and when he explains it to someone who isn’t an expert in the field he often forgets or doesn’t bother putting it into laymen’s terms. Thankfully, Eddie is strong in that area, of taking complicated things and putting them into simple terms, so Calvin leaves the public speaking to Eddie.

Calvin’s cognitive preferences are those of an INTP and while not all INTPs are just like Eddie, they do all have some things in common.

  1. INTPs see everything from an analytical point of view.
  2. INTPs cannot help but be logical.
  3. INTPs see possibilities and need to play around with them.
  4. INTPs are unaware of why others can’t see things more logically.
  5. INTPs want to be left alone to work or to work with a like-minded person.
  6. INTPS enjoy discussing theories and ideas.
  7. INTPs struggle with rigid structure.

 

 

 

Meet Adrian, an ENTP

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Ne=Intuition extraverted sees connections, makes inferences, deciphers patterns and toys with connections. This function is the ENTPs superpower and is in the hero position. 
Ti=Thinking introverted sees inconsistencies in logic, analyzes and fits information into an internal framework. This is the ENTP’s parent function and is where his or her responsibility lies. The ENTP will always look for the underlying truth in any situation or problem because that is where their “parent function” is at. 
Fe=Feeling extraverted cares how you feel and what you value. It is in the ENTP’s child position, meaning that the ENTP has pure desire to make others feel good and happy. It is what makes ENTPs some of the greatest givers. And coupled with the Ne hero (which is unpredictable and playful itself, Fe child makes ENTPs delightfully humorous and playful at times.)
Si=Sensing introverted in the aspirational position means that ENTPs need to a “place” where they feel secure and comfortable. 

Adrian is fun, optimistic and outgoing, he doesn’t need the approval of others. Yet, he needs a certain kind of others. He needs to be around smart people, people who are interested in the metaphysical side of life and people who are open to trying new things. He isn’t afraid of valid criticism and actually welcomes it if it will enrich his life in the long run. His feelings are not easily hurt. However, when someone lashes out at him emotionally and without objective reasoning, he finds himself mirroring their anger. On the flip side, when he is around jovial people, he finds it easier to be jovial himself. He needs stimulating, in-depth and lively conversations. He needs someone to extravert his ideas with and discuss possibilities and implications. He needs someone to dream with.

He is a master of boundary pushing, and tends to provoke arguments out of others. He can usually justify what they think or say better than they can but he wants to know how they came to see things the way they do. This helps him “grow” and invariably increases his ability to fix or improve things.

Adrain is a giver and has a large circle of many interesting people in his life. Having to endure boring, sameness and stagnation are torturous to Adrian.

In conversations, Adrian doesn’t have to hear the whole story to get the picture. Making inferences and drawing analogies are his superpowers and so is coming up with new ideas. Those who work under him often complain that he changes things just to be changing them and actually, that’s true.  He constantly toys with ideas and relationships.  He tends to shift situational dynamics and trusts that something good will come out of it. Every piece of data, every experience or external stimuli leads him to make inferences, draw analogies, come up metaphors, jokes and more new ideas.

It is hard to manipulate Adrian, because he has a gift for guessing the details and is adept at “what if” scenarios. He has a lot of mental energy and often entertains multiple ideas and meanings at once.  He is proficient at weighing the odds, at categorizing, and seems to separate his feelings, his body and his mind when he is arguing or having a discussion. This separation is not to be “mean” to others. Most of the time, he is only throwing out ideas or intentionally trying to get others to “think” and make their lives better or bigger. He wants people to grow and he wants to grow himself and often this flies in the face of accepted social constructs and traditions. That’s not to say he doesn’t need “some” tradition. He still tears up every Christmas when he sees a red poinsettia, remembering how his mom always put them the hearth and how they gathered around and sang carols.

His objectivity and need to “push” the limits often translates into mentally, verbally and emotionally pushing others to the edge of their comfort zones and results in some people backlashing him. Because of these adverse reactions to efforts to help others grow and move forward in life, he has learned to cover up what he really thinks at times, and most certainly, what he feels. Therefore, some members of his family and co-workers have accused him of being deceptive. He is wounded when his attempts to help or give to others turns to criticism and backlash. He wants to give people joy, to see them happy.

Adrian’s cognitive preferences are those of an ENTP and although not all ENTPs will be exactly like Adrian, they do all have certain characteristics.

  1. ENTPs are witty and innovative.
  2. ENTPs hate boredom and stagnation.
  3. ENTPs do not like rigid structure and systems.
  4. ENTPs seek out and need life experiences.
  5. ENTPs are path finders and givers, seeking to help others be the best they can be.
  6. ENTPs are open-minded.
  7. ENTPs have a wide variety of hobbies, interests and talents.

 

Meet Willow, an INFJ

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The cognitive preferences of INFJs are:

Ni-introverted intuition in the hero position is perspective-shifting in that it is constantly at work on a subconscious level, sorting through information that comes in via the five senses or some unconscious means, giving the INFJ (INTJs, too), the ability to see things from many different angles and viewpoints at once. Ni is the NJs’ superpower, giving them insight into relationships, imagination, originality, ingenuity and visions of what not only could be but the road to take to get there.

Fe-feeling that’s extraverted in the parent position is where the INFJ’s responsibility lies. Whenever INFJs experience the sensation that the values of others are being violated, this function steps in and reminds them that they have a responsibility to the well-being and happiness of others. Fe is aware of what matters to others and how others feel. Coupled with a hero Ni, this means that INFJ is always subjected to having to balance what they see as best and what they want (Ni) with the consequential effects on others.

Ti-in the child position means that the INFJ has a form of pure logic, that when unhampered by interfering Fe, and in service to heroic Ni, can devise a plan to accomplish, basically anything in a step-by-step manner. It also means that INFJs may get so focused on what they think that they fail to listen to the advice or thoughts of others.

Se-extraverted sensing in the aspirational position may mean that INFJs worry about giving others a bad experience or doing something that cause physical harm to others. Yet, on a positive note, it serves as a release valve for the mental energy consumed by massive use of Ni and Ti. When young, INFJs may be so distracted by the never ceasing noise in their heads that they forget where they’re going or walk into something but as they move out of adolescence, they may become physically involved with any number of sports or physical activities.

Meet Willow, an INFJ

Willow is a writer. She takes long walks. She needs time to think. Time to hear her “own heart.”

Thinking helps her determine what she is feeling and why she feels that way. Thinking helps her make sense of her world.  She is strategic in almost everything she does and tends to see patterns on a subconscious level. She also understands many things without ever having officially learned them and may not be able to recall how she knows them.

Willow has a keen sense of personal direction and is led by something that can only be likened to an internal guidance system.  She can’t explain it no matter how hard she tries. She hates being asked personal questions, and she hates having to explain her past or why she chooses certain things. Her greatest personal intention is to live with integrity and authenticity. She constantly struggles with what she sees as the right path for her own life and what others want and expect from her.

Willow has an undaunting and tenacious will power and even when emotionally distraught, or physically in pain, she will press forward on behalf of something she values and believes in, especially if the well-being of another is involved. She has been known to literally lay her life on the line for the sake of others.

Willow has a beautiful sense of humor and can make people laugh at the drop of a pin. Wherever she goes, people flock to her. They say she is like a light entering the room and makes others feel good about themselves when she is with them. Friends say that Willow is inspiring and they feel connected to her. Willow feels good when she makes others feel good, however, she often feels drained, like people have some sort of invisible energy IV hooked to her, trying to siphon off her life energy. Even when she tries to be alone, people find her.

Friends and family will often ask her to do things she doesn’t really believe in or want to do, yet she has an incredibly hard time saying no and wrestles daily with requests from other people.  She constantly feels torn between being true to herself and maintaining harmony with others. Willow’s greatest fears are that she will irreparably damage another person by following her own passions and she is very passionate internally while remaining calm on the surface most of the time.

With a high IQ the ability to speak multiple languages, paint, dance, sing, write and learn anything she sets her mind to, Willow is gifted, yet has struggled with her self-worth many times, feeling that it is somehow her responsibility to make everyone happy, to fix their problems and take away their pain without judging them for anything they did or didn’t do to cause that pain in the first place. Her best friend tells her that she has unreasonable expectations of herself and is too hard on herself, while letting other people get off easy.

She struggles with mechanical aptitude and her family laughed at her struggle to learn to drive. She struggles with Si dominate skills like keeping up with binders, folders, data etc. Willow feels this stuff is pointless. She can keep up with stuff in her head. Why does she need all that clutter in her physical world? Clutter and conflict make her physically ill. She really just wants to be left alone and allowed to work in her own way most of the time.

That’s not to say she doesn’t like structure, she does, somewhat. It just needs to be a lose structure with room for spurts of creativity. She dreams of travel and adventure and writes historical fiction with intricate characters, twisting plots and many subplots. Willow is highly observant of human interactions and intuitively understands unspoken motives. She bases her interactions with others on what she picks up off them, not what they show on the surface.

The ”mundane” things of life are a weight around her neck. She longs for escape from the ordinary day in and day out routines of life, and often finds it through her fantastic imagination.

She is always prioritizing. Above all things, Willow wants to leave behind something that makes the world a more enlightened place. She wants to help open the spiritual eyes of others and feels this is her highest call in life. That is why she writes, to communicate a truth that is bigger and far more reaching than her immediate circle. She wants to leave a legacy of what it means to live for something bigger than one’s immediate needs.

Willow has the cognitive preferences of an INFJ and while not all INFJs are the same, they do all share some characteristics:

  1. INFJs know things without knowing how they know them.
  2. INFJs see many angles at the same time.
  3. INFJs feel responsible for the experiences and feelings of others.
  4. INFJs have a pure logic with the ability to analyze and synthesis on a subconscious level.
  5. INFJs need a loose but dependable structure.
  6. INFJs are strategic yet they are movement oriented (they get bored with stagnation and seek adventure.)
  7. INFJs are creative.

Meet Tony, an ENFJ

 

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The cognitive preferences of ENFJs are:

Fe–in the hero position means that they are heroically aware of the values and feelings of others. It’s the first thing they pick up when in any environment. It’s their superpower.

Ni–in the parent position means that they are responsible for their purpose, goal, intent and desire. Ni in this position, coupled with Fe in the hero position, positions ENFJs to be the world’s best con-artists, ministers, public speakers and entertainers. (realize that any type can enter any field or occupation but ENFJs are gifted in these areas.)

Se-in the child position means that ENFJs sincerely want others to have a good experience, to be comfortable. It also means they have a childlike need to be in the moment which further serves to make them great entertainers, etc. It causes others to automatically feel at ease in their presence.

Ti-is in their aspirational position and this means that they aspire to really analyze and understand things. It also means that they may not always listen to reason and when upset can become irrational, accusing others of thinking things they have no proof of.

Tony is empathetic, compassionate and sincerely kind. He is soulful and sensitive and has such an intense need to mentor and nurture that he volunteers to take a missionary trip to a particular village in Haiti every year just before Christmas where he will deliver books, crayons, pencils and other items to children. He does puppet skits for them and tells them Bible stories. These trips are the highlight of Tony’s life. He feels it is his purpose in life to bring hope to Haiti. He saves his money all year for the trip. He works craft festivals all summer, selling various items he has made in order to fund his trip. He set up a “go fund me” page and gets a few pledges there, but nowhere near enough. So, Tony makes the sacrifices himself in order to accomplish what he believes in and what he believes in is helping the children of Haiti. He wants to make a mark in that country.

Tony has been married two times. The first wife said his personality was too strong and that he was too devoted to his goals. She said she couldn’t compete with “the poor children of Haiti,” and she left. His second wife became jealous of Tony after a performance of the Lion King at a local theatre. She wasn’t jealous of Tony and another woman. She was jealous of all the attention and adoration he was getting. She felt threatened. Now, single with no children, Tony prays that one day a woman with as much passion and desire to help others will come his way. He also hopes she’ll be fit and strong, because that matters to him, as well. He has plenty of female suitors but most of them can’t handle the strength of Tony’s commitment to his life’s “calling.” And if there’s one thing Tony is sure of, it’s that he can’t give up his calling or back down on his commitment to the children of Haiti for anyone.

When Tony walks into a room, he lights it up. Everyone notices him. He is warm, charming, funny, wears interesting clothes and people flock to him. They love to be in his presence. Tony loves other people and he also enjoys the attention he gets from other people. He’s not a narcissist by any means, he is completely concerned about others but he loves to be loved. He has found an outlet for this paradox of his nature by acting. He has tried many different occupations, but theatre allows him to explore his own personality and still connect with others. It allows him to adore his audience and his audience to adore him, without feeling guilt over having others admire him. It’s also a platform. Tony gets invited to speak a many events and it’s from the stage that he can talk about the plight of the children in Haiti while he simultaneously makes people laugh and feel good about themselves.

Off-Stage, Tony enjoys deep and meaningful conversations about the things that matter in life, eternal things, spiritual things, world-shaking things, religion, politics and scientific discoveries. If Tony finds a person interesting, he will make a special attempt to get to know that person better. He will ask questions to uncover the person’s dreams, ambitions and passions. Tony makes others feel wanted and appreciated. He makes them feel special. His twin brother, Timothy, has the same abilities, but Timothy is a con-artist who uses his gifts for reading people to swindle them out of money. Tony prefers the route of a performing missionary and wants to change the world in a good way.

For all his passion and warmth and intelligence, Tony doesn’t do small talk. He gets bored with surface conversation. However, he loves listening to others talk about what he considers “real” issues and he is excellent at providing direction. His friends have nicknamed him “Male Oprah.”

While Tony is just ONE of many possible manifestations of an ENFJ, keep in mind that all ENFJs have some things in common:

  1. ENFJs care how others feel.
  2. ENFJs are responsible for their own goals in life. No one else will lay out their future for them or tell them what they want. They KNOW what they want and what they have to do to get it.
  3. ENFJs are keenly aware of what looks good, what provides others with a good experience (or a bad one). Some may be into physical fitness of any variety, especially as they get older.
  4. ENFJs can be doggedly stubborn and determined. I have heard them called “contrary” on more than one occasion.
  5. ENFJs don’t give up on what they see as the right path for them. If a door closes, they will knock out a window.
  6. If you want to appeal to an ENFJ, appeal to their heart by telling them how you feel. They care more about what values you hold dear than about what you think.
  7. ENFJs are usually altruistic and sincere.

Meet Ella, an INTJ

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The cognitive preferences of INTJs are as follows:

Ni-introverted intuition in the hero position is perspective-shifting in that it is constantly at work on a subconscious level, sorting through information that comes in via the five senses or some unconscious means, giving the INFJ (INTJs, too), the ability to see things from many different angles and viewpoints at once. Ni is the NJs’ superpower, giving them insight into relationships, imagination, originality, ingenuity and visions of what not only could be but the road to take to get there.
Te-extroverted thinking in the parent position means that INTJs see things objectively and systematically. They have a structure and order and bring ideas back to standardized measurements or rationale. INTJs pay attention to the way things are structured or ordered. This is where their responsibility lies. They feel the responsibility to point out rationale and reasoning to others.
Fi-in the child position means that INTJs have a pure childlike awareness of their own values but may not be aware of the values of others. They are aware of their own feelings but may fail to understand or recognize the feelings of others. Sometimes this causes INTJs to be social unaware. 
Se-in the aspirational function, Se works on an axis with Ni, subconsciously feeding it. It also serves as a release valve for INTJs. It is not uncommon for INTJs in their 30s and beyond to take up Salsa, Martial Arts, weight lifting, gardening, cooking or some other hobby that allows them to engage in the moment. However, Se in this position can also cause the INTJ to develop performance anxiety as they desire to give others a good experience.
Meet Ella 

Ella is a biology professor; she works best alone.

She doesn’t like having to serve on university committees where people often end up going off-topic and accomplishing little. She had rather be in her lab, actually getting something done. She is careful planner and tends to do things in a systematic way. She is not a stickler for order, but she does need some order in her life. She needs people to be on time or at least call and let her know why they’re not. She needs to have at least a rough-outline of what to expect when going into a situation. Her lab is clean and spacious and when she’s in there alone she often listens to classical guitar music. She is a minimalist and doesn’t like “stuff.” However, the few things she does want are high quality.

When Ella was a child her family lived in an old farmhouse with a woodshed in the backyard. This shed became Ella’s “lab.” Ella spent long hours collecting insects in jars, labeling them and putting them on a shelf her father had built for her. She often did sketches of the insects and kept a journal on their behaviors.  She checked out a book on insects every time her class went to the school library. Sometimes, she developed notions about how the insects might behave if she put certain ones together, then she would do that and watch to see what happened.

Ella focuses on ideas and concepts. She is a big picture person and gets frustrated when having to work with too many mundane details. She once had a job as accountant but quit after a week. The boredom was killing her she said. There was no intellectual simulation, no invigorating conversations, no inspiration and no opportunity for her to create. Ella is very creative.

Constantly looking for the best way to do things, Ella has keen perception and can easily deduce a pattern or see a trend. She has a childlike adherence to her values and knows exactly what she values. However, she isn’t so keen on discerning the values and intentions of others. In fact, when her boyfriend (who is habitually late and loses track of time) doesn’t think to call and tell her that he’s running late, she begins to imagine all sorts of things. Maybe he just doesn’t like her anymore. Maybe he had a flat tired. Maybe he had an accident.  She is uncomfortable around strong displays of emotion and doesn’t really know how to respond or react to them. She has a calm demeanor most of the time. Intelligence, loyalty, dependability and competence matter to Ella and she respects those qualities in others.

Ella constantly absorbs her environment and things that she doesn’t even know she notices seem to get filed away in some hidden filing system and later, she mysteriously knows things without having a clue as to how she knows them.

When she was younger she was clumsy but now that she is older she has taken up Salsa dancing and is quite good at it. She never considered herself athletic before but this new hobby lets out a side to her that was unknown to her before.

There have been a few times in her life when she realized that she couldn’t see a best way out of a particular circumstance so she just lived in the moment. Once she spent an entire summer alone, studying insects of the Smokey Mountains. She just needed time to get away from people and clear her head.

Ella is quiet confidence in motion. She doesn’t care what others feel as much as she cares what they think. What are their ideas? She will take the best of those ideas and run with them to develop something tangible or to perfect a project she’s working on. Ella has a good sense of humor that most others don’t know about.

Ella’s cognitive preferences are those of an INTJ and while she isn’t an example of ALL INTJs, there are certain traits that all INTJs have in common:

  1. INTJs have a strong will.
  2. INTJs need time alone.
  3. INTJs are objective.
  4. INTJs tend to be rationale.
  5. INTJs see the big picture.
  6. INTJs finish what they start.
  7. INTJs are strategic in every thing they do.

 

 

 

 

 

Meet Thomas, an ENTJ

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ENTJ’s cognitive preference line-up is as follows:

hero-Te: this ensures that ENTJs are systematic, pragmatic and use established, objective protocol.

Parent-Ni: this means that ENTJs are determined, willful, automatically see what needs to be done in order to accomplish a goal or finish a task.

Child-Se: in this pure, innocent position, ENTJs do not hesitate to take action immediately, to strike while the iron is hot, do what needs doing and get things accomplished.

Apsiration-Fi: ENTJs know what they value and may mistakenly think that’s what others value as well or they may be completely unaware of the values and feelings of others, even though they want to believe they do. They need to hear that they are good people and doing good things.

 

Thomas is an entrepreneur. He is efficient, systematic and gets things done. He makes his decisions based on what works the best. He doesn’t waste time and likes to strike while the iron is hot, so to speak. He doesn’t believe in agonizing over a decision and sees the most effective solution right up front. He has a lot of things going on internally as he constantly scans the whole complexity of issues and brings into focus what needs to be attended to. However, the one area he often overlooks is how his decisions will affect the values and feelings of others. He is often surprised when someone close to him has a “melt-down” over a decision that he has made or a policy he has initiated.

For all of his business-like structure, Thomas has a playful side and enjoys a good adventure once in a while. He is a master at taking calculated business risks and coming out on top.

He is aware of his value system and mistakenly thinks others value the same things. Sometimes, his wife angrily accuses him of being a bull in a China shop when it comes to calculating how others will feel about or react to what he considers the most efficient business decision and sometimes she accuses him of treating his family like a corporation.

Thomas seems to flip between two modes of operation; on the one hand he is constantly aware of his environment, on the other he zeros in on one particular issue or problem. Thomas is a great problem-solver.

Thomas is driven and values doing things for himself. He started working for a Pizza Hut as soon as he could legally hold a job. He saved his money and at 22 purchased a building, got a business license and opened his own pizzeria. It was so successful that he bought a building in a nearby town, hired some people and opened a second pizza place. Thomas has made millions with his various business ventures. He currently owns two pizzerias, an RV park, a rental storage facility and serves on the local schoolboard.

It bothers Thomas that his family sometimes fails to see the importance of his work or appreciate all that he does and has done to provide them with comfortable living but the truth is that Thomas would excel, regardless of whether he had a family or not. He wrestles between holding true to his values and morals and doing what works to accomplish a goal. He often secretly backs humanitarian projects to help him deal with this dichotomy in his life.

Thomas’s cognitive preferences are those of an ENTJ and while not all ENTJs are exactly like Thomas they do all have certain characteristics.

  1. ENTJs are efficient.
  2. ENTJs look at the bigger picture but focus in on areas to strengthen or improve.
  3. ENTJs move up any hierarchy rapidly.
  4. ENTJs are systematic.
  5. ENTJs do what works.
  6. ENTJs see what needs to be done and move to do it.
  7. ENTJs may overlook how their choices impact the lives of others, but they want to do something that is beneficial.

Extraverted Sensing Preference Recaps

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SPs or extraverted sensors are people whose cognitive preferences causes them to naturally be more in the moment than the rest of us. They don’t have to try to be in the moment, they just are in the moment. They are in-tune with their physical environment and are more at home in it. They are all free-spirited and original.

ESTPs

Se-in the hero position guarantees that they are involved and immersed in the moment. They are aware of the experiences of others, what others are doing.

Ti-in the parent position means that ESTPs are analytical, thinking on their feet, in the moment. They’re practical and pragmatic. They care less about how things “should” be done and more about, “what works.”

Fe-in the child position means they have a pure awareness of the values of others and a childlike concern about the well-being and feelings of others.

Ni-in the aspirational position means that ESTPs are uncertain about their future and if their plans will work. In some ways it’s a self-sabotage button that turns them into procrastinators, quick to begin a project but uncertain about finishing. However, they can and usually do overcome this if those around them exhibit patience and faith in their abilities. They need freedom to chose their own future because they are uncertain of what they want.

ISTPs

Ti-in the hero position causes ISTPs to be logic at its finest. Every piece of data or information that comes to an ISTP is immediately weighted against an internal framework built upon what is “true.” It also means they do not care what others think unless others can prove their thoughts using indisputable evidence from someone that the ISTP respects.

Se-in the parent position means that ISTPs are responsible with their immediate physical environment. They are highly attuned to what’s going on around them at all times and because of the hero Si they literally excel, above all others, at thinking on their feet. The Ti-Se combo also makes both ISTPs and ESTPs extremely gifted with the mechanical and tactical.

Ni-in the child position means that ISTPs have a childlike clear picture of what they want in any given moment and they often have no clue what anyone else wants. It also means that they can foresee and react to what’s happening to them in any given situation.

Fe-in the aspiring position means that the ISTP cares about how others feel even if they are the ones that cause the bad feelings. They need to know that you value them because they doubt that anyone does.

 

ESFP

Se-in the hero position means the ESFP is all about providing an experiment in the moment. They are aware of their physical environment and are usually, like all SPs, physically coordinated and appreciate beauty. They tend to be fantastic entertainers and are often (like the ISFP) considered physically attractive.

Fi-in the parent position means that the ESFP is aware of what they value and will be true to themselves. It also means that Fe is in the critic position and may make them critical of the values of others which might be different from their own.

Te-in the child position gives them a pure measure of control that others may find surprising. The ESFP is often intelligent, articulate and controlled in their speech.

Ni-in the aspirational position means that the ESFPs aspire to know the right path and may verbally give advice or wish to be seen as wise counselors. Ni in this position means that ESFPs may feel they have the answers to the problems of others.  This is the function  where their ego longs to be fed. ESFPs want to be told they are wise, because they doubt that they truly are.

ISFP

Fi-in the hero function means that ISFPs are true to their own values and feelings.

Se-in the parent function means that ISFPs are physically co-ordinated, quick to catch on to mechanical, tactical or physical things and are often attuned to physical beauty, knowing how to adorn themselves. They have a kinetic intelligence as all SPs do.

Ni-in the child position means that the ISFPs have a childlike clear picture of what they want in any given moment and they often have no clue what anyone else wants. It also means that they can foresee and react to what’s happening to them in any given situation.

Te-in the aspirational function means that ISFPs long to grasp the standardized ways of doing things yet struggle to do so because Fi makes them fiercely staunch in their own values. They want to be more aware of reason and what people think. As they mature, this can become a reality, but for many it remains a longtime struggle.

 

 

 

 

Introverted Sensing Preferences Recap

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In an effort to ensure that I cover all of the basis, before I move into the Intuitive Types, I’d like to do a couple of posts just recapping or highlight the sensors. Today I highlight the SJs.

SJs are people with cognitive preferences that cause them to focus on such things as comfort, safety, dependability, tradition, structure and doing what they perceive to be “right” or the accepted way of doing things.

SJs are responsible for keeping family traditions alive, for keeping order in society and for maintaining stability. They are the anchors of the human race. SJs, the world truly NEEDS you!

Here are the SJ cognitive preferences:

ESTJ-are hard-working, responsible, efficient people who have a natural talent for overseeing.

Te-hero means that ESTJs are aware of the proper way of doing things, efficient and structured.

Si-parent means they are responsible, dependable, safety-focused and will ensure comfort or a personally pleasing sensory experience. They are collectors of data in some instances. For example, an ESTJ who is concerned with a health issue will collect loads of information on that issue.

Ne-in the child position means they have a witty cooky streak that shows up in childlike playfulness at times.

Fi-in the aspirational or inferior position means they know their values but may be unaware of the values of others, believing that what they value is universally what others should also value.

ISTJ-are careful, thorough, conscientious, careful and usually filled with knowledge. 

Si-hero means that ISTJs are well aware of what brings comfort and familiarity is comforting to them. It also means they are collectors of information, data and sometimes, “stuff.”

Te-parent means that ISTJs are responsible to do things the way they “should be done” and that they look to the experts in whatever field of interest they have. ISTJs always have a systematic way of doing things.

Fi-in the child position means that the ISTJ has a childlike pure awareness of what they believe and value. However, they may be completely unaware of societal norms and values.

Ne-in the aspiring position means that the ISTJ has an off-beat sense of humor and can be surprisingly witty at times and inventive.

ESFJ–they provide and ensure that the physical needs of others are met. They seek to please those around them and usually work hard and are altruistic. 

Fe-in the hero position means that ESFJs are keenly aware of what those around them value.

Si-in the parent positions means that ESFJs will seek to maintain comfort in social situations and in the family.

Ne-in the child position means that they have a pure desire to give others what they want.

Ti-in this position means that they are aware of what they think but not of what others think. It also means that they MUST be listened to.

ISFJ-kind-hearted, care-taking, loving, gentle individuals who need family structure and someone or some thing to take care of.

Si-in the hero position means that ISFJs recall the past, collect data and seek comfort.

Fe-in the parent position means that ISFJs are aware of what others value and desire to uphold those values. That’s why family image is so important to them.

Ti-in the child position means they have a pure, child-like ability to analyze a thing to its basic core.

Ne-in the aspiration position means that they anticipate what others are wanting or what their intentions are. It also means that they may have some uncanny insights (sometimes dead on accurate and sometimes just accusing) into what others are intending to do.

 

 

 

Meet Sarah, an ISTP

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ISTP’s have the following cognitive preferences:

RECAP ON THE FUNCTIONS OF AN ISTP:
Hero–Thinking introverted in the hero position–they are, above all, logical and analytical. This means Thinking extraverted is the nemesis and if you want an ISTP to listen to your ideas, you’d better back them up with indisputable facts. 
Parent–Sensing that is extraverted–their responsibility lies in the experiences of what’s going on around them. What is everybody doing? What is everybody experiencing in the immediate reality? This means that Introverted Sensing is the critic. 
Child–Feeling extraverted is their child and in its innocence, it cares how things affect others and how others feel. This means that Feeling Introverted is the trickster and the ISTP may not be aware of their own core values, ethics or morals at times. 
Aspiring–Intuition that is introverted anticipates the immediate future, like a fighter’s next move, but because it is in the inferior or apsiring position, it does not do as well with long-range planning.  This means that Intuition Extraverted is their demon function.

By day Sarah works at the county jail.

In the evenings she teaches martial arts and women’s self-defense classes. She thinks tactically. Her purse isn’t just a purse, it’s an ETA-lined military grade survival kit. She carries a pocket knife and a pistol in there along with her compact, lipstick, brush, checkbook, cellphone and credit card.

She scopes out a building the moment she enters, looking for places where shooters or muggers might attack. When she visits a home, she can’t stop seeing potential entry points for thieves, rapists and serial killers. She thinks on her feet and is constantly in protectant mode. Sarah has a natural-born ability to do things physically. She and her training partners are always thinking up new ways to stop would-be attackers and then they try them out on each other. Sarah has had her jaw broken, her rib broken and has been knocked out on more than one occasion.

She isn’t opposed to crude humor and her husband often reminds her that there are children present. However, she tends to be quiet much of the time, not because she’s shy but just because if she deems a conversation too stupid or pointless, she simply won’t engage in it. She really doesn’t care what other people think unless they can back it up with a mountain of relative research from people that she respects. She has a massive internal framework of information and understanding about the things she’s interested in and she applies it to the present situation.

Sarah’s husband is sometimes opposed to her extreme physical and analytical nature, but he knew when he married her that she was fiercely independent and that she was a tactician. On their fourth date, they had a flat and she was the one who changed it. She also told him to take all that crap off his key chain before he messed up his ignition switch.

Sarah isn’t the traditional motherly type by any means. She will gladly eat Thanksgiving dinner at her sister’s house but if the family counted on her, she’d order carry-out. She sees what needs to be done and she does it in the most efficient way possible.  Unlike her SJ sister, she forgets anniversaries and birthdays. She doesn’t mean to and if she is reminded then she will come through. She cares deeply about the well being of her family and will fight fiercely to protect them, at least physically. She has a pure instinct about her and can survive just about any situation. Sarah is a real life Mcgyver in a lot of ways. Steve McGarrett from Hawaii Five 0 is her absolute favorite television character. He reminds her of herself. She also likes Agent Mae from Agents of Shield.

Sarah doesn’t have many women friends because she doesn’t usually fit in with them. In her mind, high heels are made to be used as weapons. Hairspray can double as mace and face powder can be used to lift fingerprints.

However, she loves the auto parts store and visits the hardware store weekly. Sarah isn’t intentionally critical of other people but the truth is that she can literally think on her feet and anticipate an opponent’s next move. Sarah can think and move her way out of anything. However, long range planning is not really her thing and neither is having to back up, slow down or re-explain a concept. She sometimes thinks that people who can’t catch on to what she is showing them are slow or just plain stupid, no matter how many degrees they have or what they’re in.

Not only is she good at thinking on her feet, but there hasn’t been an engine built that she can’t take apart and put back together again. Sarah loves to work on vehicles and she loves to work with her hands. When she isn’t training, working out or at the jail, she’s in the back yard under a shade tree fixing someone’s vehicle.

Sarah’s cognitive preferences are those of an ISTP.

While Sara is not typical of ALL ISTPs, all ISTPs do have some things in common.

  1. ISTPs live in the moment.
  2. ISTPs are tacticians.
  3. ISTPs foresee physical challenges in the immediate future and react. That’s why they make awesome fighters and martial artists.
  4. ISTPs are mechanically and/or electronically inclined.
  5. ISTPs tend to be daredevils to some degree. They will try out the tactics that they come up with.
  6. ISTPs are not bound by tradition and almost always think outside the box.
  7. ISTPs don’t care what others think and will write you off as stupid if you waste their time on prattle. Ideas have to be backed up by real world evidence by people they respect in fields that they care about.

 

Meet Johnny, an ESTP

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Johnny loves crude humor, The Sons of Anarchy and hosting family and friends barbeques. He enjoys reality television shows that focus on fixing up old cars or remodeling dilapidated homes. He doesn’t have time for theoretical discussions unless he can use them in his real life.

Johnny is well-liked by many people. He runs a local garage and his friends stop regularly to shoot the breeze with him. He has been a champion in the county’s demolition derby for four years straight and so the “guys” respect his skill and ingenuity. He’s been known to weld parts together that don’t normally go together. He doesn’t care so much for the way things have always been done and considers some traditions to be just plain stupid. He puts things together in unique ways and is often proud of his accomplishments, posting pictures of his renovated cars on facebook where he also posts off-color jokes and sarcastic memes.

He will push the boundaries with his humor and remarks. When Johnny throws a party, he wants everything to be just right. He wants his guests to enjoy the food and have a great time. He may overspend in his quest to have people love the moment they’re in. This is his way of giving and helping. Johnny mans the grill. He is really great at starting projects and focusing on them in the moment.  If he doesn’t finish a project quickly, he may never return to it and deep inside he knows this. That’s why when something is really important to him or the people that he loves, he needs his tunnel vision to complete it.

John is blunt, bold and direct in his speech. He notices physical changes in his environment before almost everyone around him and is quick to point them out. He also notices when things need to be changed and doesn’t hesitate to change them. He has a vast network of contacts and social connections that he calls upon whenever he needs an expert in just about any field.

He doesn’t like to express his feelings in front of others and struggles with anger. His blunt honesty has cost him a few friendships but he reasons that they can’t handle the truth. He moves at his own pace and detests being rushed and he doesn’t like to backtrack, slow down or explain things when others are too slow to catch on. That’s because having to focus on a detail for a long time is frustrating to him. Johnny has been known to boldly go where no man has gone before on more than one occasion which didn’t end well for him and now, that he is older, he procrastinates because he can’t predict an outcome and doesn’t really know what it is that he wants the results to be. His friends and family say that he can be unstructured, always runs late or arrives early, ignoring other people’s time frames. They say that can’t see the forest for the trees sometimes.

Johnny does have an awareness of social values and wants very much to give others a good experience. He can be extremely unselfish and give unexpected gifts to those he cares about. Johnny values his independence and not being micromanaged. He is self-sufficient and expects the same from others.

John’s cognitive preferences are those of an ESTP. 

While every ESTP is different and John is unique, all ESTPs do have some things in common:

  1. ESTPs live in the moment.
  2. ESTPs care about the experiences of others.
  3. ESTPs are analytical and can think on their feet.
  4. ESTPs have a childlike desire to make people feel good.
  5. ESTPs are protective of their families and those that they value.
  6. ESTPs think outside the box.
  7. ESTPs are pragmatic, always looking for what works.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meet Dave, an ISFP

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When Dave plays guitar and sings, women throw things at him, like bras with phone numbers on them.

Dave is charming with a beautiful smile and an off-beat sense of humor.

On the upside Dave’s charm, talent and skills have opened doors for him. He’s been a stunt man (for a couple of years), a rodeo clown (for three months), a ranch hand, a logger, a dock hand, a bar performer, a mechanic (he can fix anything), a tattoo artist, a wood worker, and an actor; he did a stint on a local television program, all before he turned 30, which is his current age, but through it all he has loved his music and has been in 7 different bands, playing concerts most weekends.

On the downside, Dave’s music and passion cost him his marriage, three marriages actually.

He tends to live in the moment and when women threw themselves at him after concerts, he’d give in. He reasons that life on the road sort of does that to a passionate man. None of his wives agreed. Nor did they agree with being kicked out of their homes when Dave bought a knew sound system or guitar and let the rent go unpaid or when he quit one job after another and threatened to mutilate the bosses and various people that he worked with for “putting him down.”

When Dave’s first wife left him, he completely shut down and closed himself off from everyone who tried to help him. Then he came back, bouncing from woman to woman for the next two years.

He has a vivid imagination and is highly creative, writing amazing music and lyrics. He pours his values and emotions into his creations and this is alluring to listeners. He is a spiritual man of sorts, but even in that, he goes his own way. He has tried Buddhism, Hinduism, Satanism, Christianity and now he is into Taoism. He dyes his hair various colors, depending on his mood at the time, has piercings in ears, nose, lip and eyebrows. He dresses in black and says that he is making a statement by his fashion choices. His music, his clothes and everything about him tells the world that he has his own set of values and he will, above all else, be true to those values.

Dave tends to be competitive and feels he must be victorious in the moment. Dave would never back down from a fight. He says he doesn’t start them but he won’t back away from them either.

While he is insanely charming, especially on stage, his self-esteem fluctuates from seemingly cocky and over confident to self-loathing and withdrawal. He can be kind and unselfish but he can also be cruel, harsh and completely self-centered. Dave’s mother, who posts only positive things about him on her facebook page, and tells everybody that he is a good boy,  fears that one day he will lose his temper or do something in the heat of the moment that will land him in prison or that he might get into drugs and overdose. Dave’s cognitive preferences are those of an ISFP.

*This is NOT a typical ISFP but of course an over the top representation. Still ISFPs do have core values that are extreme in Dave. However, in a more stable individual they would appear quite different and more balanced. ISFPs have these things in common:

  1. They are fiercely independent.
  2. They struggle with temper, either internally are quietly stubborn or will physically engage in a fight when insulted.
  3. They take insults very personally, sometimes, even unintended ones.
  4. They are good with physical and/or mechanical things.
  5. They can be charming.
  6. They can be generous and kind.
  7. They are present-focused.

 

Meet Kimberly, an ESFP

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Kimberly is a chef. She truly enjoys her work and tries every recipe personally before she serves it to her customers. She enjoys textile art as a hobby and has a poodle name Floopy.

She knows what she values and it is these personal values and interests that motivate her.

She detests long-term projects and likes to do things that bring immediate satisfaction to people, like good cooking, and putting together great outfits. She once worked as a school secretary but the stringent rules made her feel stressed. She likes a job with flexibility and being a chef gives her that and allows her room to be creative.

Kimberly is so much fun at parties and her friends are always inviting her. She is a fountain of jokes and entertainment and makes others feel good to be in her presence which makes her feel good, too. She wears bold clothing (and sometimes revealing) that many others could not get away with. She has a killer singing voice and can sing karaoke better than any of the friends. She is good at making plans but disdains strict rules. She wants the freedom to be herself and on her dating profile, she states that as a must. She is a master of selfies.

She is definitely a girl who sees the glass as half-full. She doesn’t like conflict and doesn’t like to be restricted by regulations. She has a creative, artistic streak, especially when it comes to practical things. She loves good food, good company and good times. Kids love her. Animals love her. She’s a fun, easy-going, out-going girl most of the time. Kimberly’s cognitive preferences are those of an ESFP.

***Kimberly is just one example of the ESFP blueprints. However ESFPs do have some basic things in common, regardless of the lives built upon those blueprints.

  1. ESFPs like to give tangible experiences to others.
  2. ESFPs are motivated by personal interests and know what their personal values are.
  3. ESFPs are more organized and smarter than they appear.
  4. ESFPs may change their minds and/or directions often.
  5. ESFPs are good at initiating or starting things but may struggle with completion.
  6. ESFPs have an uncanny ability to be in the moment and tend to be good at “physical” or mechanical things. For example, an ESFP might be a natural-born dancer or have a natural talent for musical and/or stage performances.
  7. ESFPs care what others think.

 

Meet Allie, an ESFJ

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Allie attends church nearly every Sunday.

She holds a Master’s Degree in Human Services and prides herself in caring for others. She likes to keep things moving forward and she never wants for friends. In fact, she has a whole posse that she takes shopping with her because she is afraid that she will buy something ugly and look stupid in front of her friends at work.

She hosts Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for her family every year and her home looks like it should be featured on the front of a Southern Living magazine. She goes all out and keeps her Christmas decorations up to date and in vogue.

At work she is often the spokeswoman in meetings and is critical of anyone who is socially awkward, has bad hair, is too fat, or wears out-of-style clothing. She sometimes spends more than she intended to on clothing and often buys things only to later discover that she doesn’t even like them. In fact, she has closets filled with things with tags still on them. She doesn’t always know what she wants and so she buys things that are popular among people she respects and likes.

Allie puts in long hours and works as a volunteer for Relay for Life because she is a cancer survivor and she wants to help others survive, too. She cries during sad movies and is better at knowing what other people want than what she wants for herself. In fact, she feels happiest when she is making the people she loves happy. Her first marriage was bad as her husband was verbally and emotionally abusive toward her. Now, in her second marriage, she is extremely happy because her husband, an easy-going woodworker, is completely opposite of her previous partner. He is funny, quirky and kind to her, plus she always knows what he wants, he listens to her, doesn’t criticize her for having too much stuff and values her ideas and input and this makes her happy.

There is a woman at work who once devalued Allie and made her feel stupid. Allie wanted the woman gone, so she began highlighting the woman’s short-comings in front of others. Eventually, the woman was deemed lazy and incompetent by the administers at the center and she was fired. Allie received her job, which was a promotion for her. Allie rarely goes into her dark side but dismissing her idea as stupid made this woman Allie’s mortal enemy. Allie must be praised for her hard work. If she receives praise and recognition, she will sacrifice to the ends of the earth to make others feel happy.

Allie’s cognitive preferences are those of an ESFJ.

All ESFJs have these things in common:

  1. They honor tradition and the values of their circle.
  2. They want to do the “right thing.”
  3. They are past focused and compare the present to past experiences.
  4. They care about what you want.
  5. They must have someone listen to them.
  6. They like familiarity and comfort.
  7. They are thoughtful, generous and usually altruistic.