Meet Tony, an ENFJ

 

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The cognitive preferences of ENFJs are:

Fe–in the hero position means that they are heroically aware of the values and feelings of others. It’s the first thing they pick up when in any environment. It’s their superpower.

Ni–in the parent position means that they are responsible for their purpose, goal, intent and desire. Ni in this position, coupled with Fe in the hero position, positions ENFJs to be the world’s best con-artists, ministers, public speakers and entertainers. (realize that any type can enter any field or occupation but ENFJs are gifted in these areas.)

Se-in the child position means that ENFJs sincerely want others to have a good experience, to be comfortable. It also means they have a childlike need to be in the moment which further serves to make them great entertainers, etc. It causes others to automatically feel at ease in their presence.

Ti-is in their aspirational position and this means that they aspire to really analyze and understand things. It also means that they may not always listen to reason and when upset can become irrational, accusing others of thinking things they have no proof of.

Tony is empathetic, compassionate and sincerely kind. He is soulful and sensitive and has such an intense need to mentor and nurture that he volunteers to take a missionary trip to a particular village in Haiti every year just before Christmas where he will deliver books, crayons, pencils and other items to children. He does puppet skits for them and tells them Bible stories. These trips are the highlight of Tony’s life. He feels it is his purpose in life to bring hope to Haiti. He saves his money all year for the trip. He works craft festivals all summer, selling various items he has made in order to fund his trip. He set up a “go fund me” page and gets a few pledges there, but nowhere near enough. So, Tony makes the sacrifices himself in order to accomplish what he believes in and what he believes in is helping the children of Haiti. He wants to make a mark in that country.

Tony has been married two times. The first wife said his personality was too strong and that he was too devoted to his goals. She said she couldn’t compete with “the poor children of Haiti,” and she left. His second wife became jealous of Tony after a performance of the Lion King at a local theatre. She wasn’t jealous of Tony and another woman. She was jealous of all the attention and adoration he was getting. She felt threatened. Now, single with no children, Tony prays that one day a woman with as much passion and desire to help others will come his way. He also hopes she’ll be fit and strong, because that matters to him, as well. He has plenty of female suitors but most of them can’t handle the strength of Tony’s commitment to his life’s “calling.” And if there’s one thing Tony is sure of, it’s that he can’t give up his calling or back down on his commitment to the children of Haiti for anyone.

When Tony walks into a room, he lights it up. Everyone notices him. He is warm, charming, funny, wears interesting clothes and people flock to him. They love to be in his presence. Tony loves other people and he also enjoys the attention he gets from other people. He’s not a narcissist by any means, he is completely concerned about others but he loves to be loved. He has found an outlet for this paradox of his nature by acting. He has tried many different occupations, but theatre allows him to explore his own personality and still connect with others. It allows him to adore his audience and his audience to adore him, without feeling guilt over having others admire him. It’s also a platform. Tony gets invited to speak a many events and it’s from the stage that he can talk about the plight of the children in Haiti while he simultaneously makes people laugh and feel good about themselves.

Off-Stage, Tony enjoys deep and meaningful conversations about the things that matter in life, eternal things, spiritual things, world-shaking things, religion, politics and scientific discoveries. If Tony finds a person interesting, he will make a special attempt to get to know that person better. He will ask questions to uncover the person’s dreams, ambitions and passions. Tony makes others feel wanted and appreciated. He makes them feel special. His twin brother, Timothy, has the same abilities, but Timothy is a con-artist who uses his gifts for reading people to swindle them out of money. Tony prefers the route of a performing missionary and wants to change the world in a good way.

For all his passion and warmth and intelligence, Tony doesn’t do small talk. He gets bored with surface conversation. However, he loves listening to others talk about what he considers “real” issues and he is excellent at providing direction. His friends have nicknamed him “Male Oprah.”

While Tony is just ONE of many possible manifestations of an ENFJ, keep in mind that all ENFJs have some things in common:

  1. ENFJs care how others feel.
  2. ENFJs are responsible for their own goals in life. No one else will lay out their future for them or tell them what they want. They KNOW what they want and what they have to do to get it.
  3. ENFJs are keenly aware of what looks good, what provides others with a good experience (or a bad one). Some may be into physical fitness of any variety, especially as they get older.
  4. ENFJs can be doggedly stubborn and determined. I have heard them called “contrary” on more than one occasion.
  5. ENFJs don’t give up on what they see as the right path for them. If a door closes, they will knock out a window.
  6. If you want to appeal to an ENFJ, appeal to their heart by telling them how you feel. They care more about what values you hold dear than about what you think.
  7. ENFJs are usually altruistic and sincere.

Extraverted Sensing Preference Recaps

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SPs or extraverted sensors are people whose cognitive preferences causes them to naturally be more in the moment than the rest of us. They don’t have to try to be in the moment, they just are in the moment. They are in-tune with their physical environment and are more at home in it. They are all free-spirited and original.

ESTPs

Se-in the hero position guarantees that they are involved and immersed in the moment. They are aware of the experiences of others, what others are doing.

Ti-in the parent position means that ESTPs are analytical, thinking on their feet, in the moment. They’re practical and pragmatic. They care less about how things “should” be done and more about, “what works.”

Fe-in the child position means they have a pure awareness of the values of others and a childlike concern about the well-being and feelings of others.

Ni-in the aspirational position means that ESTPs are uncertain about their future and if their plans will work. In some ways it’s a self-sabotage button that turns them into procrastinators, quick to begin a project but uncertain about finishing. However, they can and usually do overcome this if those around them exhibit patience and faith in their abilities. They need freedom to chose their own future because they are uncertain of what they want.

ISTPs

Ti-in the hero position causes ISTPs to be logic at its finest. Every piece of data or information that comes to an ISTP is immediately weighted against an internal framework built upon what is “true.” It also means they do not care what others think unless others can prove their thoughts using indisputable evidence from someone that the ISTP respects.

Se-in the parent position means that ISTPs are responsible with their immediate physical environment. They are highly attuned to what’s going on around them at all times and because of the hero Si they literally excel, above all others, at thinking on their feet. The Ti-Se combo also makes both ISTPs and ESTPs extremely gifted with the mechanical and tactical.

Ni-in the child position means that ISTPs have a childlike clear picture of what they want in any given moment and they often have no clue what anyone else wants. It also means that they can foresee and react to what’s happening to them in any given situation.

Fe-in the aspiring position means that the ISTP cares about how others feel even if they are the ones that cause the bad feelings. They need to know that you value them because they doubt that anyone does.

 

ESFP

Se-in the hero position means the ESFP is all about providing an experiment in the moment. They are aware of their physical environment and are usually, like all SPs, physically coordinated and appreciate beauty. They tend to be fantastic entertainers and are often (like the ISFP) considered physically attractive.

Fi-in the parent position means that the ESFP is aware of what they value and will be true to themselves. It also means that Fe is in the critic position and may make them critical of the values of others which might be different from their own.

Te-in the child position gives them a pure measure of control that others may find surprising. The ESFP is often intelligent, articulate and controlled in their speech.

Ni-in the aspirational position means that the ESFPs aspire to know the right path and may verbally give advice or wish to be seen as wise counselors. Ni in this position means that ESFPs may feel they have the answers to the problems of others.  This is the function  where their ego longs to be fed. ESFPs want to be told they are wise, because they doubt that they truly are.

ISFP

Fi-in the hero function means that ISFPs are true to their own values and feelings.

Se-in the parent function means that ISFPs are physically co-ordinated, quick to catch on to mechanical, tactical or physical things and are often attuned to physical beauty, knowing how to adorn themselves. They have a kinetic intelligence as all SPs do.

Ni-in the child position means that the ISFPs have a childlike clear picture of what they want in any given moment and they often have no clue what anyone else wants. It also means that they can foresee and react to what’s happening to them in any given situation.

Te-in the aspirational function means that ISFPs long to grasp the standardized ways of doing things yet struggle to do so because Fi makes them fiercely staunch in their own values. They want to be more aware of reason and what people think. As they mature, this can become a reality, but for many it remains a longtime struggle.